Blue funk.
And certain things are beginning to look like they might not materialize, at least, not before the holiday proper.

There are a few bright spots. Demonoid came back finally so there is entertainment value to be had ATM. My Chat game continues to be cool. and things are relatively quiet, so that's okay.
I mean, i'm not depressed AND stressed out.

Tried my hand at writing some stuff down, but i'm going through one of those phases where i can plainly see what i'm writing is crap. Fun-o!

Most of my holiday doldrums come out of the fact that i get kind of wound up about the holiday. There are a few folks in my life and my family of course, who, if i had the resources, i'd spoil rotten for the holiday. I'd like to. But the choices that i've made over the course of life probably will cause me to remain a poor actor/writer/singer till the end of my days. This season tends to throw those feelings into sharp relief. I don't reckon i'll ever be well to do, and X-mas makes me feel the closest thing i usually get to regret over those decisions.

Add to that, the seemingly inevitable money crisis, illness, or god help me, the Combo platter...

And you can perhaps see why i might be out of sorts.
Ah well things could be worse, have been in the past, and i'm sure there will be Christmas seasons to come that will bring on the Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul.

It's probably a bad sign that every single receipt that i get when i shop gets scrutinized for cash giveaways in exchange for taking a phone survey. and GOD aren't there a lot of them...

My state of mind has seen better days.

There are good things, but the X-mas season gnaws at my calm in ways great and small.
I'm still enjoying play at Insidious Reflection. And I am slowly but surely becoming more of a fan of Werewolf. Who knew? Butch Stillman is fun to play and reminds me of some of the more fun aspects of playing Doc Hardesty on WanWic.
And Vampire is slowly ramping back up. Douglas needs about 100 points cover all the moves he's made, and i need those points yesterday damnit! But i shall have to be patient. Happily, Douglas does patient better than I do.

Still no writing. Recent events have left me a little demoralized on that front. Right now I don't feel as if i have a creative bone in my body. I am tired all the time,I think my body may be trying to catch cold. Thankfully, my vitamins are keeping all that at bay.

The family is all in a kind of rocky place. Most of them, i think just hoping to navigate the holiday season without some shit-storm breaking wide.

I'm still soldiering on. There's money in the pipe from my work on "Bald Soprano" which i suspect will be spent on presents for the family. The problem is, normally, my paycheck hits the bank very early in the morning on friday. A quick glance at the calendar indicates that this will of course mean, that a nice paycheck, which i can actually spend most of, will hit my bank account at 4 am Christmas eve. Same deal for new years eve.

Nor is it very likely that this will be taken into account by the powers that be, at my workplace and some sort of arrangement will be made. This, as you might imagine, fills me with a desire to step into the ranks of Legendary work-place saboteurs in some kind of sky-lighting atrocity that middle managers will tell their children for years to come.

Ah well. it's good that i'm far too tired for those sorts of shenanigans.

I swear, if it weren't for Hulu, I'd crack. Although, there is a slight possibility that I'll be able to export myself and the Pinkster off to Louisville for the time in about a year. I do hope it come off.

Once the holidays are over, i think i'll need to shake some dust off me.